A caveman tries to explain his resume (carved into a stone) to a modern day hir: A caveman tries to explain his resume (carved into a stone) to a modern day hir
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A caveman tries to explain his resume (carved into a stone) to a modern day hiring manager
Characters
GRUG
supporting
Grug is a burly, rugged caveman with a powerful build. He has long, dark brown, shaggy, unkempt hair and a thick, scraggly beard. His eyes are dark and his skin is tanned and weathered. He wears primitive clothing made from rough animal pelts in various shades of brown and gray, possibly accessorized with a simple bone necklace. He carries a massive, crudely carved gray stone tablet, roughly rectangular, with a deep, primitive carving of a mammoth on its surface.
MS. JENKINS
supporting
Ms. Jenkins is a professional woman in her mid-40s with a sharp, composed demeanor. She has neat, perfectly coiffed brown hair styled into a classic bob. Her eyes are blue and her skin tone is fair. She wears sharp business attire, consisting of a tailored navy blue pantsuit, a crisp white blouse, and sensible low heels. She has a professional, tight smile that easily falters into expressions of confusion or alarm.
Page 1
Panel 1: A wide shot of a sterile, modern office waiting room. Chrome, glass, and a few potted plants. A RECEPTIONIST (mid-20s, neat bun, headset) sits behind a sleek desk, looking bored as she types on a keyboard.
Panel 2: The automatic glass doors slide open. GRUG, a burly, hairy caveman in rough animal pelts, awkwardly shuffles into the waiting room. He carries a massive, crudely carved stone tablet under one arm, scraping it slightly on the floor. The RECEPTIONIST looks up, startled, eyes wide.
Panel 3: GRUG stands before the RECEPTIONIST's desk. He grunts loudly and points a thick, calloused finger at himself, then gestures vaguely towards the inner offices. The RECEPTIONIST shrinks back slightly, a look of profound discomfort and confusion on her face.
“GRUG: Ugh... Grug! Job!”
Panel 4: MS. JENKINS (mid-40s, sharp business attire, perfectly coiffed hair) opens her office door, looking expectantly into the waiting room. Her professional smile falters and drops as her gaze lands on GRUG and the enormous stone tablet he carries. Her expression shifts to utter confusion and slight alarm.
“MS. JENKINS: Next?”
Panel 5: MS. JENKINS, trying to regain her composure, forces a tight, professional smile. She gestures stiffly towards her office, her eyes still fixated on the 'GRUG'S RESUME STONE'. GRUG looks from her to the open door, a hopeful glint in his eye.
“MS. JENKINS: ...Please, come in.”
Panel 6: GRUG, still clutching the 'GRUG'S RESUME STONE', lumbers into MS. JENKINS' small, modern office. It contains a sleek desk, two minimalist chairs, and a few framed diplomas. GRUG looks around, clearly out of place.
Page 2
Panel 1: Inside MS. JENKINS' office. GRUG attempts to place the massive 'GRUG'S RESUME STONE' onto the relatively small, sleek desk. It's too big and heavy, causing the desk to creak and MS. JENKINS to flinch. She watches, a mixture of bewilderment and concern on her face.
“MS. JENKINS: Oh! Uh, careful with the... the desk.”
Panel 2: GRUG finally manages to prop the 'GRUG'S RESUME STONE' against the front of the desk, leaning it precariously. He points proudly to a crude, deep carving of a mammoth on the stone. MS. JENKINS leans forward, squinting at the ancient artwork.
“GRUG: Mammoth! Big! Good!”
Panel 3: A close-up on the 'GRUG'S RESUME STONE'. The carving clearly shows a stick-figure GRUG, spear in hand, mid-stab on a large, shaggy mammoth. In the background, MS. JENKINS' face is visible, perplexed, her brow furrowed in concentration.
“MS. JENKINS (thought bubble): Is that... a woolly mammoth? How is this relevant?”
Panel 4: GRUG grunts loudly, miming the action of throwing a spear with great force, then making a 'thud' sound. He then pats the carved mammoth proudly. MS. JENKINS holds up a hand, trying to process the information, her eyes darting between Grug and the stone.
“GRUG: Hunt! Kill! Eat!”
Panel 5: MS. JENKINS tries to speak, gesturing vaguely with her hands. GRUG just grunts and points to another section of the stone, indicating a different carving.
“MS. JENKINS: So... you're applying for... what exactly? 'Big game hunter' isn't really on our... GRUG:”
Panel 6: GRUG gestures wildly at a new carving: a crude depiction of him rubbing sticks together to make fire, with smoke rising. His chest puffs out with pride. MS. JENKINS stares, completely lost now, her mouth slightly agape.
“GRUG: Fire! Warm! Cook!”
Page 3
Panel 1: MS. JENKINS, trying to find a professional angle, points a manicured finger at a section of the 'GRUG'S RESUME STONE' showing multiple stick figures surrounding a beast. She forces a thoughtful expression.
“MS. JENKINS: And this... is this teamwork? You and other... individuals... coordinating to achieve a common goal?”
Panel 2: GRUG nods enthusiastically, pounding his chest with a fist and then making a roaring sound. He points to the carvings of multiple figures surrounding a large, generic beast.
“GRUG: Group! Hunt! Win!”
Panel 3: MS. JENKINS scribbles frantically on a notepad, her pen shaking slightly. She looks up, a hopeful but doubtful expression on her face.
“MS. JENKINS: So, you have experience in... 'large game acquisition and resource management'? And 'inter-group synergy'?”
Panel 4: GRUG, eager to impress, points to another carving: a crude depiction of him scaring away a saber-toothed tiger with a flaming torch. He makes a 'whoosh' sound, imitating the fire.
“GRUG: Bad cat! Away! Grug strong!”
Panel 5: MS. JENKINS rubs her temples with one hand while trying to write with the other. She looks utterly weary but tries to maintain a professional facade.
“MS. JENKINS: And... 'conflict resolution'? 'Threat deterrence'? Impressive... for a different era.”
Panel 6: GRUG, misunderstanding the nuance, lets out a triumphant roar, flexing his massive muscles. He gestures grandly to the 'GRUG'S RESUME STONE' as if it's the most obvious, compelling resume she's ever seen.
“GRUG: Grug BEST! Job! Now!”
Page 4
Panel 1: MS. JENKINS sighs deeply, taking off her glasses and rubbing the bridge of her nose. The 'GRUG'S RESUME STONE' looms precariously on her desk, a stark symbol of her current predicament. She looks utterly defeated.
Panel 2: MS. JENKINS forces a tight, professional smile. She gestures vaguely with her hands, trying to find the right words, her voice strained.
“MS. JENKINS: Grug... I appreciate your... unique presentation. Your skills are... robust. Very... foundational.”
Panel 3: GRUG looks at her, expectant, a slight, hopeful grin on his face. He points to his 'GRUG'S RESUME STONE' again, then to himself, then back to the stone, as if to say, 'So, I'm hired, right?'
“GRUG: Job? Yes?”
Panel 4: MS. JENKINS, with a forced, almost painful smile, leans slightly forward. Her eyes are still wide with disbelief, but she's made a decision, however bizarre.
“MS. JENKINS: We do have an opening for... 'Chief Paleo-Environmental Maintenance Specialist'. It's mostly... tidying up the break room.”
Panel 5: GRUG's eyes widen. He doesn't understand the words, but he hears 'job' and senses an offer. He lets out a joyful, booming grunt, pounding his chest with excitement.
“GRUG: OOOH-GAH! Grug take!”
Panel 6: GRUG, beaming with pride, triumphantly hoists his 'GRUG'S RESUME STONE' onto his shoulder, ready to leave. MS. JENKINS watches him go, leaning back in her chair, a mixture of disbelief, resignation, and utter exhaustion on her face. She reaches for a mug.
“MS. JENKINS: I need a very, very strong coffee.”
