Asscrack Anthony: An Eventful Experience at the Kebab Shop
Its Friday night and two young women are on the DJ decks at a bar/club in trendy Chapel St, Melbourne. A young man with a blue jacket, light blue jeans, and a backpack walks in and orders a drink. He takes his drink and sits down at the table directly in front of the DJ decks (literally 1-2 metres away). When he sits down, a massive amount of his buttocks is unintentionally exposed due to his low-slung pants. The man works on his laptop oblivious to the women laughing hysterically behind him, taking photos and videos.
It's 1 AM on a Saturday night. After leaving his friends, Asscrack Anthony walks into a kebab shop for a bite to eat. He sits down in front of a group of girls, completely unaware that the majority of his buttcrack has become exposed from his too-small, low-rise skinny jeans. The girls proceed to shove chips, and eventually, tomato sauce down the exposed buttcrack. Anthony, having been drinking, is even less aware than usual of the prank unfolding behind him.
Characters
Asscrack Anthony
Antagonist
Buttcrack always showing
Liam
minor
Liam is a friendly and efficient bartender at a club. He has short, neatly styled light brown hair, friendly brown eyes, and an average skin tone. He wears a classic bartender's uniform: a crisp white shirt, a dark vest, and a neat black apron tied around his waist. He always greets customers with a warm, genuine smile and moves with practiced ease behind the bar.
Kebab Shop Worker
minor
A weary and slightly disheveled man, likely in his late 30s to early 40s, with a perpetually tired expression. He has short, dark brown hair that's a bit messy, tired brown eyes with subtle dark circles underneath, and an olive skin tone. He wears a slightly grease-stained white polo shirt with a small, stylized kebab shop logo embroidered on the chest, a dark blue apron tied around his waist, and dark trousers. He often has a slightly slumped posture and a look of quiet resignation, but moves with efficiency behind the counter. His hands might show signs of work, perhaps a few minor burns or calluses.
Portia
Protagonist
Dark-skinned, beautiful long hair, big lips, nice body. Very outgoing and daring.
Candace
Protagonist
Blonde, pretty, long hair, very confident and assertive, cheeky persona.
Page 1
Panel 1: A dark, slightly blurry street scene at night. Asscrack Anthony, wearing a blue jacket and light blue jeans, walks along a bustling sidewalk, slightly swaying. Neon signs from distant shops cast a colorful glow.
Narrator: “The city hummed, a late-night symphony of distant music and fading laughter.”
Panel 2: Close-up on Asscrack Anthony's face. His eyes are a bit glazed, a faint smile on his lips. He pulls out his phone, squinting at the screen.
“Mmm, kebab... good idea, Anthony.”
Panel 3: Asscrack Anthony looks up, spotting a brightly lit kebab shop sign in the distance, its vibrant red and yellow letters cutting through the darkness. He grins wider, a hungry glint in his eyes.
Panel 4: Medium shot of Asscrack Anthony, now walking with a renewed sense of purpose towards the glowing kebab shop. He fumbles slightly in his backpack.
Narrator: “A beacon of greasy salvation beckoned.”
Page 2
Panel 1: Interior of a bustling kebab shop. Bright fluorescent lights illuminate the counter. Asscrack Anthony stands at the counter, placing his order with a Kebab Shop Worker, who looks tired.
“Yeah, a lamb kebab, extra garlic sauce, please.”
Panel 2: At a table nearby, Maya, Chloe, and the British Woman are seated, laughing and sharing a plate of chips. They glance up as Anthony walks past, briefly noticing him.
“Oh my god, I haven't laughed this hard all week!”
Panel 3: Liam, dressed casually, stands near the pickup counter, checking his phone while waiting for his own order. He briefly makes eye contact with Anthony and offers a quick, polite nod before looking back at his phone.
Panel 4: Asscrack Anthony, carrying his wrapped kebab, walks towards a vacant table. His low-slung jeans are already starting to slide down slightly as he moves, hinting at what's to come.
Panel 5: The Kebab Shop Worker calls out an order number. Liam approaches the counter to collect his food, walking past the girls' table and then out of frame towards the exit.
“Order 23!”
Page 3
Panel 1: Asscrack Anthony sits down on a stool at the bar counter. As he settles, his low-rise skinny jeans dip significantly, exposing a large portion of his buttcrack. The girls are not in frame in this panel.
Panel 2: Maya, Chloe, and the British Woman's eyes widen, then quickly narrow into expressions of mischievous amusement. Maya nudges Chloe, a silent laugh escaping her lips.
Panel 3: The British Woman leans forward, a playful smirk on her face, whispering conspiratorially to Maya and Chloe, her eyes still darting to Anthony's back.
“Did you just see that?”
Panel 4: Asscrack Anthony bites into his kebab, eyes distant and content, utterly oblivious to the spectacle he presents or the attention he's garnered.
Narrator: “Alcohol's fuzzy embrace made him particularly unobservant tonight.”
Page 4
Panel 1: Maya, Chloe, and the British Woman are huddled together, heads close, suppressing giggles. A half-eaten plate of chips sits between them.
“Oh my god, we have to.”
Panel 2: Close-up on Chloe's hand as she carefully selects a long, golden french fry from the plate. Her eyes sparkle with wicked delight.
Panel 3: Asscrack Anthony is still focused on his kebab, perhaps scrolling through his phone with one hand, completely unaware of the looming prank.
Panel 4: The British Woman gives Chloe an encouraging nod and a wide, mischievous grin. Maya covers her mouth to stifle a laugh.
“Do it!”
Page 5
Panel 1: The British Woman, with a stealthy and playful expression, leans slightly over the table, holding the chip poised.
Panel 2: A close-up shot from behind Asscrack Anthony, showing the British Woman's hand gently, yet firmly, inserting the first french fry into the exposed buttcrack.
Panel 3: Asscrack Anthony's profile, still engrossed in his kebab. A faint, contented hum escapes him, completely oblivious to the foreign object now nestled in his rear.
“Mmm-hmm.”
Panel 4: Maya and Chloe are silently shaking with laughter, their faces red, eyes squeezed shut to contain their mirth. The British Woman retreats, a triumphant grin on her face.
Page 6
Panel 1: Maya and Chloe, emboldened by the success of the first chip, now take turns, giggling softly as they add more chips to Asscrack Anthony's buttcrack. A small, growing collection of fries is visible.
Panel 2: A wider shot of the table from behind Anthony. He's still eating, back to the girls, who are now barely containing their laughter, leaning over conspiratorially.
Panel 3: Close-up on Asscrack Anthony's face. His eyes are half-closed in a state of contented, slightly drunken bliss. He seems utterly at peace.
Narrator: “The world outside his kebab became a distant hum.”
Panel 4: The British Woman nudges Chloe, who is wiping a tear of laughter from her eye. The British Woman holds up a small sachet of tomato sauce, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.
“Time for the main course?”
Page 7
Panel 1: Chloe takes the sachet of tomato sauce from the British Woman, a wide, devilish grin spreading across her face. Maya watches, eyes wide with anticipation.
“Oh, you are evil.”
Panel 2: Close-up of Chloe's hand, carefully positioning the sachet directly above Asscrack Anthony's exposed buttcrack, which is now adorned with several fries.
Panel 3: A stream of vibrant red tomato sauce cascades down, coating the fries and dripping onto Asscrack Anthony's exposed skin. It's a messy, comical sight.
Panel 4: Maya, Chloe, and the British Woman are now openly convulsing with silent laughter, tears streaming down their faces, struggling to breathe from their mirth. They clutch their stomachs, unable to look away.
Page 8
Panel 1: Asscrack Anthony finishes his kebab with a satisfied sigh. He stretches languidly, pushing away from the table. The mess of chips and sauce is still clearly visible on his lower back.
“Ah, that hits the spot.”
Panel 2: Asscrack Anthony stands up, his jeans riding slightly higher but still revealing the saucy, chip-laden buttcrack. He turns slightly to walk towards the exit, still oblivious.
Panel 3: Maya, Chloe, and the British Woman collapse back in their seats, utterly spent from laughter, pointing weakly at Anthony's retreating figure. Their faces are red and exhausted.
“I can't... I just can't!”
Panel 4: Exterior shot of the kebab shop. Asscrack Anthony exits, walking into the night, the bright mess on his backside still prominent. The faint echoes of female laughter can be heard from inside the shop.
Narrator: “And into the night he went, a saucy secret clinging to his posterior.”
