Long and Wendigo Road

Panel 1:High angle wide view of the industrial WereHouse loading dock. A fixed-gear bicycle screeches to a stop on the concrete. The rider dismounts: a man in a knit scarf, blazer over an indie band t-shirt, skinny jeans, and a tight top-knot man bun.

Narrator:“The WereHouse’s CEO arrives unexpectedly. Born into the lap of luxury, his 8 years at an elite liberal arts college taught him nothing at all. Despite this he has total control over the WereHouse!”

Panel 2:Medium shot of the CEO striking an open-palmed motivational pose, grinning smugly toward the shop floor.

“CEO: Good morning, team! Today we bring the WereHouse into the 21st century!”

Panel 3:Close-up of Jennifurr's clawed werewolf hands gripping a heavy steel pipe wrench. The iron shaft bends thirty degrees under her clawed knuckles.

Panel 4:Medium-close shot of Evil Forklift parked beside a stack of wood pallets. His glowing green headlight eyes narrow into slits. Dark emerald exhaust billows from his tailpipes. A bright yellow Gadsden flag sticker sits on his yellow chassis.

“Evil Forklift: I’m too high for this shift ”

Panel 5:Gary the ghost floats three feet off the ground, a thick clipboard tucked under his arm, smiling ear-to-ear as he extends a paper folder toward the CEO.

“Gary : Wonderful! Here’s the paperwork to get started on talking about planning the change!”

Narrator:““Corporate Nonsense” ”

Panel 1:Wide shot of the loading bay ceiling. Tangles of braided cloth wire hang in loops, dangling glowing amber Edison bulbs directly above heavy road flight cases.

“CEO: These trendy lights are 100% necessary! ”

Panel 2:Medium shot. The CEO slaps a massive vinyl handlebar mustache decal across the front stencil logo of an aluminum road case.

“CEO: Every road case gets a mustache. And bacon scratch-and-sniff labels!”

Panel 3:Full shot of Roy staggering under a teetering tower of cardboard boxes labeled MUSTACHE DECALS. His sneaker catches on a yellow extension cord snakes across the dock floor.

“Roy : Whoa—look out! Cords everywhere!”

Panel 4:Medium shot of Cadillac leaning his shoulder against a concrete pillar, an unlit wooden toothpick shifting in his mouth. Beside him, Axel holds one finger aloft, scowling with tight lips.

“Axel: Well actually, artisanal aesthetics contradict our dark occult workflow— Cadillac : Sounds like someone else's shift.”

Panel 1:Wide exterior establishing shot looking into the open loading dock bay. A massive matte-black passenger van with tinted glass and no license plates rolls to a dead stop at the lip of the concrete platform. A visible layer of frost crystallizes instantly across the pavement under its tires.

“CEO: I’m going to get involved!”

Narrator:“A new client arrives! ”

Panel 2:Low-angle wide shot. The side doors of the black van slide back. Three eight-foot-tall Wendigos step out onto the platform. Their bodies are emaciated, skeletal frames clad in tattered hides. Massive branching deer antlers sprout from bleached deer skulls that serve as their heads.

Narrator:“Wendigos! Ancient creatures native to North America, they feast on the flesh of humans and throw the most eldritch feasts in the underworld! ”

Panel 3:Close-up of the lead Wendigo's deer skull face. Dark shadow fills the empty orbital sockets. Cold vapor drifts from between sharp, exposed teeth.

“Wendigo : We require production gear, for our decennial feast of sacrifice and horror…”

Narrator:“Demands! ”

Panel 4:Eye-level medium shot. The CEO stands hands on hips, grinning up at the skeletal monstrosity without flinching, pointing proudly to the hipster road cases.

“CEO: You came to the right disruptors! Check the bespoke bacon-scented cables!”

Panel 1:High-angle POV from the Wendigo looking down at an audio road case plastered with a giant curled mustache decal and glitter stickers.

Panel 2:Medium shot of the lead Wendigo towering over the dock, bony arms crossed over its sunken chest. Its deer skull tilts downward in cold disgust.

“Wendigo : We came here for ancient evil, what’s this hipster bullshit?”

Narrator:“Swing and a miss!”

Panel 3:Extreme close-up of the CEO's face, completely red and furious. His eyes bug out, veins bulge on his neck, and his finger aggressively jabs forward.

“CEO: Listen here, antler-face! We have a contract! You cannot walk away!”

Panel 4:Wide shot. The three massive Wendigos turn their backs in utter silence and march into the black van, completely ignoring the screaming CEO.

Panel 5:Medium shot of Axel and Jennifurr side-by-side behind an equipment rack. Jennifurr's jaw is dropped; Axel's wolf ears are pinned flat against their head in sheer terror.

“Axel: He just threatened an apex entity from ten thousand years ago. Jennifurr: We are dead. We are all dead.”

Panel 1:Wide shot of Central Park path under thick autumn trees. Jennifurr and Axel sprint at full tilt across the grass, each clutching one of Roy's jacket sleeves, dragging him between them.

“Roy : Hey! My feet aren't even touching the dirt!”

Narrator:“Jennifurr and Axel have a plan!”

Panel 2:Medium shot at the base of an ancient, massive gnarled oak tree. Jennifurr pulls back a thick curtain of roots to reveal an oval doorway filled with swirling emerald and violet mist.

“Axel: Pre-Columbian pocket realm. The feast grounds are through here! We need to apologize to the Wendigos!”

Panel 3:Dynamic medium-close action shot. Jennifurr places both palms firmly against Roy's back and shoves him forward into the blinding emerald vortex.

Panel 4:Wide establishing shot of a vast primordial pine forest under a purple twilight sky. A massive bonfire roars in a stone circle. Six towering Wendigos stand gathered around the flames, looking down at Roy as he tumbles out of thin air onto moss.

“Roy : Oof! Guys, wait up—!”

Panel 1:Low-angle shot looking up at the lead Wendigo. The massive creature raises one clawed skeletal arm toward Roy, antlers sweeping high against the smoky sky.

“Wendigo : We will gladly accept this young white boy's flesh as a token of good faith.”

Panel 2:Medium-close shot of Roy on his knees on the forest floor. He swallows hard, palms raised outward defensively.

“Wendigo : Deliver the man-bun to us instead. His flesh for yours. Roy : Look... even though that dude is a total dick, I'm not sacrificing him to be eaten.”

Panel 3:Extreme close-up of the lead Wendigo's bleached deer skull. A faint green supernatural ember ignites inside each empty eye socket as it tilts its head sideways.

Panel 4:Medium shot. The Wendigo gestures dismissively with a sweep of its hand. Behind Roy, Jennifurr and Axel reach through the open portal mist and haul Roy backwards out of the circle.

“Wendigo : Hmmmm… your bravery has impressed me. You are free to go Roy Roy : Holy Plot Twist!”

Narrator:“Roy is spared??”

Panel 5:Close-up of two Wendigos lingering by the dying fire. A smaller Wendigo speaks to the towering leader.

“Wendigo : So you're just going to let that little turd get away with that? Second Wendigo: You’ve heard of Montezuma's Revenge? This is Wendigo's Revenge.”

Narrator:“Did he just go there??”

Panel 1:Wide establishing shot of the Mayor's lavish corner office in City Hall. The Mayor sits behind an immense dark mahogany desk. His silver hair is slicked tight, an eerie wide grin stretches across his face, and a pristine white sash across his chest reads 'TAX THE POOR'.

“Mayor: Welcome, Cadillac. Our fair city faces a profound desecration.”

Narrator:“Meanwhile!! Back to our gritty B Plot!”

Panel 2:Medium shot of Crime Fighting Cadillac standing squarely before the desk. He wears a tailored charcoal suit, a minuscule black superhero cowl over his eyes, a clean wooden toothpick jutting from his lips, and grips a heavy wooden baseball bat across his shoulder.

“Crime fighting Cadillac : Name the perp, Mr. Mayor.”

Panel 3:Close-up of the Mayor leaning forward on his elbows. His long, thin fingers interlock; a heavy black ring gleams on his left ring finger. His toothy smile widens unnervingly.

“Mayor: A phantom vagrant is urinating on the City Hall third-floor toilet seats... and not wiping them down.”

Panel 4:Close-up of Crime Fighting Cadillac's lower face. His jaw sets hard. He rolls the toothpick from the left corner of his mouth to the right.

Panel 1:Medium wide shot inside the City Hall marble bathroom. A man in business slacks stands before an open toilet bowl, visibly spraying urine all across the white plastic seat. The stall door is kicked completely off its hinges behind him.

Panel 2:Action shot. Crime Fighting Cadillac drives a wet red rubber toilet plunger directly into the offending man's face with brutal force. Bold stylized sound effect lettering: WHAM!

Narrator:“Suck On That!”

Panel 3:Dynamic low-angle action shot. Crime Fighting Cadillac shoves the man headfirst into the porcelain bowl, one hand firmly cranking down the silver flush lever. Water churns violently around the man's head.

“Crime fighting Cadillac : Flush out the disrespect.”

Panel 4:Medium close-up of Crime Fighting Cadillac standing tall in the doorway, perfectly adjusting the tiny cowl on his forehead with two fingers. His wooden toothpick remains undisturbed in the corner of his smirk.

“Crime fighting Cadillac : Piss on my seats, and you're gonna have a shitty time.”

Panel 5:Medium shot in the marble corridor outside. The Mayor stands before Crime Fighting Cadillac, extending a heavy burlap sack radiating an intense supernatural green money glow. The Mayor's unsettling smile is at maximum width.

“Mayor: Civic sanitation is preserved. A bonus for our hero.”

Panel 1:Medium shot back on the WereHouse loading dock. The CEO stands beside a whiteboard covered in marketing buzzwords, dry-erase marker held high in mid-lecture.

“CEO: By synergizing our core vampire DNA with artisanal pop-ups—”

Narrator:“Back at the WereHouse, trouble is bubbling ”

Panel 2:Close-up of the CEO. His skin has turned an unnatural sickly olive-green. His pupils dilate in horror, cold sweat drops roll down his cheeks, and his mouth drops open in sudden agony.

Narrator:“Diarrhea!”

Panel 3:Full-page comedic splash panel. The CEO is bent double at a ninety-degree angle, clutching his rumbling stomach with both hands. Violent cartoon shockwaves and jagged stink-lines blast outward from his rear. He scrambles on trembling knees toward the warehouse bathroom door.

“CEO: OH GOD! THE SPIRITUAL VISCOSITY! IT BURNS!”

Panel 4:Medium-close shot of Evil Forklift parked near the employee breakroom coffee bar. A carton of oat milk sits on his metal fork tine beside an empty brown medicine dropper labeled 'EVIL LAXATIVE'. Evil Forklift's glowing green eyes wink directly toward the camera. His exhaust pipe releases a smug puff of green smoke.

“Evil Forklift : Forklift: Yeah so I’ve actually been dosing him with evil laxatives this whole time and the Wendigos cursed him with their eldritch bowel mover magic!”

Narrator:“Double Whammy!”

Panel 1:Wide shot of the loading dock exterior the following morning. The CEO looks hollow, ghostly pale, with deep purple rings around his sunken eyes. He wears a winter coat despite the sun and wheels his fixed-gear bike toward the street with trembling hands.

“CEO: It's the tap water. New York has toxic tap water. I'm going back to Silver Lake.”

Panel 2:Medium shot. The CEO pedals furiously down the city asphalt, legs flailing, scarf trailing behind him as he flees toward the horizon.

Panel 3:Wide shot inside the loading dock. Alejandro the Janitor sweeps a shimmering, magical straw broom across the floor. Sparkling violet dust trails from the bristles; every mustache decal instantly peels off the road cases, and every bacon sticker dissolves into clean air. The warehouse returns to its spooky self

Narrator:“Back to Supernatural!”

Panel 4:Medium shot of Gary floating above the shipping desk with his clipboard, happily stamping a red EXIT INTERVIEW form with a rubber stamp.

“Gary : I officially filed his departure as a voluntary modernization retreat!”

Panel 5:Medium ensemble shot of the crew standing together on the restored, spooky dock. Roy leans against an unblemished black road case, breathing a sigh of relief. Jennifurr crosses her arms with a smirk. Cadillac leans on the back wall, rolling his wooden toothpick with an approving nod.

“Roy : We actually survived him. Cadillac : Shift's over. Bar time.”

Panel 1:Wide panoramic establishing shot of the Howling Pint interior. The whole crew is lined up at the long wooden bar: Roy in a rumpled jacket on a stool, Jennifurr beside him with grease still on her cheek, Axel perched smugly on the next stool, Frank massive and hunched over a nearly empty glass, Gary floating three inches above his barstool in a ghost seatbelt, and Cadillac at the end leaning back with his toothpick perfectly in place. Evil Forklift has rolled himself onto a low raised platform beside the bar, green eyes half-lidded, a glowing green joint the size of a traffic cone smoldering between his forks. Mil the Bartender stands behind the bar, her warm purple glow illuminating the bottles. Gremlin scrambles in the background hauling a bin of empties, hunched and sweaty.

Narrator:“Back at the bar! ”

Panel 2:Medium shot of Mil the Bartender behind the bar. Eight shot glasses rise off the shelf and line themselves up in a perfect row, floating in her purple telekinetic glow. A bottle tilts and pours into each one simultaneously without her touching it. Her expression is calm and practiced.

Panel 3:Close-up on Evil Forklift's face. His large glowing green eyes are crinkled at the edges with satisfaction. The enormous glowing green joint smolders between his fork tines, trailing a thick lazy curl of green smoke upward. His Gadsden flag sticker catches the bar light.

Panel 4:Medium shot of Cadillac at the end of the bar. He raises his shot glass high, toothpick somehow still perfectly tucked in the corner of his mouth. His expression is cool, unhurried, and completely satisfied. The rest of the crew's arms reach into frame on either side of him, glasses raised.

“Cadillac : To laxatives and beer. Once again, drugs and alcohol are the solution to life's problems.”

Panel 5:Wide shot of the full crew reacting to the toast. Roy grins wide and genuine. Jennifurr tips her glass toward Roy with a small nod. Axel opens their mouth — clearly about to say 'well actually' — but Jennifurr silences them with one flat look. Gary laughs so hard he phases halfway through his barstool, legs disappearing into the wood. Frank raises his glass without a word, expression unchanged. Evil Forklift's exhaust pipe fires a celebratory green puff.

“Axel: Well actually, the pharmacological— Jennifurr: Don't.”

Panel 1:Close-up row of seven shot glasses — Roy's, Jennifurr's, Axel's, Cadillac's, Frank's, Gary's (phasing slightly through his fingers but held aloft proudly), and a single shot glass balanced on Evil Forklift's fork tines — all tilted back simultaneously. Liquid streams upward as every crew member throws the shot back in perfect unison.

Panel 2:Wide action shot. In perfect unison, every crew member winds back and hurls their empty shot glass toward the background. Seven glasses arc through the air in a single diagonal line across the panel. In the background, Gremlin is mid-stride with a full bus bin, hunched and sweaty, smock filthy. His eyes go wide.

Panel 3:Medium shot of Gremlin in the background. All seven shot glasses have struck him — three bouncing off his hunched back, two off his head, one caught in his bus bin, one absorbed by his smock pocket. He stumbles one step sideways, rights himself, adjusts the bin on his hip, and keeps walking. His expression does not change. He does not stop.

Panel 4:Final full-width closing panel. The entire crew is lined up at the bar — Roy, Jennifurr, Axel, Cadillac, Frank, Gary (floating, grinning enormously), and Evil Forklift on his platform — all lit in Mil the Bartender's warm purple glow. Every face is alive and laughing. Gremlin is still moving in the deep background, a tiny hunched silhouette that never stops. A bold caption box runs across the bottom of the panel.

Narrator:“LONG AND WENDIGO ROAD — SOMETIMES THE ANCIENT AND THE INSUFFERABLE CANCEL EACH OTHER OUT! LAXATIVES AND BEER: THE WereHouse WAY!”