The Supernatural Kool-Aid Acid Test

Panel 1:Wide shot of the WereHouse loading dock interior at morning. Jennifurr, Axel, Roy, and Cadillac walk in through the large rolling bay door. Natural morning light cuts across dusty concrete floors. In the center of the dock, Evil Forklift sits idle — and slumped across its seat is Mil the Bartender, dress rumpled, purple glow dimmed to a faint flicker, an empty bottle dangling from her fingers.

Narrator:“Mil- the bartender at the Crew’s local dive bar- spent the night with EF and never made it home! ”

Panel 2:Close-up on Mil the Bartender's face resting on Evil Forklift's steering column. Her mascara is smeared, her purple glow pulses weakly, and a blissful smile is on her face. One eye cracks open, catching the crew staring.

“Mil the Bartender : You think I pay for drugs with money?”

Panel 3:Medium shot: Mil slides off Evil Forklift's seat with practiced elegance, landing on her heels. She produces a fresh bottle from somewhere in her dress, tilts it back for a long swig, then hurls it to the concrete floor where it shatters. She slinks toward the exit without looking back.

Panel 4:Wide reaction shot: Roy, Jennifurr, Axel, and Cadillac stand in a row staring at the shattered glass and Mil's retreating figure. Roy's jaw is open. Cadillac has his toothpick in the corner of his mouth and one eyebrow raised. Axel crosses their arms. Jennifurr rubs the back of her neck.

“Roy : Is that normal? Jennifurr: Yep. Axel: Clearly not! Cadillac : Someone like someone “got off” late last night!”

Panel 1:Gary floats, puzzled. In the background you can see an open loading dock where forklift is buying weed from the mermaid dealers

“Gary : I haven’t seen evil forklift in a while… I wonder what he’s up to! Probably feeding the stray ghost kittens outside!”

Panel 2:Wide shot of the back alley behind the WereHouse. Brick walls, dumpsters, and a chain-link fence. Evil Forklift is parked near the dumpsters, his giant green eyes narrowed to conspiratorial slits. Floating a few feet off the ground in bulky pressurized surface suits — fishbowl helmets, mechanical fins, water tanks on their backs — are Mermaid and Merman. Each holds a large glowing green joint. A faint trail of bubbles drifts from their suits.

Narrator:“Evil Forklift’s contacts extend beyond the evil underground to the evil underwater kingdoms. The Merdealers don their trusty “LandSuits” to get EF his weekly fix ”

Panel 3:Medium shot of Roy standing at the alley door, hand still on the handle, staring at the scene. His face shows pure bafflement — mouth open, eyebrows high.

“Roy : Whoa! Is this what I think it is?”

Panel 4:Over-the-shoulder shot from behind Roy, looking at Evil Forklift. Evil Forklift's green eyes rotate toward Roy with a slow, casual roll. A thick plume of glowing green smoke billows from his exhaust pipe. The Gadsden flag sticker on his body is visible. One of the Mermaid's surface-suit fins gestures toward the glowing joint as if offering.

“Evil Forklift : Probably not based on your usual level of awareness Mermaid : Kid. This ain't regular reggie. This is the dankest on earth. Deep ocean stuff. Real Sea Weed. Grows near the thermal vents from the pits of Tartarus”

Panel 1:Medium close shot of Roy holding a massive glowing green joint, studying it with wide eyes. Green smoke wisps curl upward around his face. He looks excited

“Roy : I mean... it's just a plant, right? Merman : Puff, Puff, Pass! We don’t have all night bro”

Panel 2:Extreme close-up on Roy's eyes. The pupils have expanded to enormous glowing green orbs. Tiny green swirls spin inside them.

Narrator:“Young Roy has zero evil tolerance and spirals into a nightmarish spiral of despair and - Reefer Sadness!”

Panel 3:Full-page-width panel: Roy's psychedelic vision. The alley melts away into a swirling green-and-purple void. Floating in the void are three distinct ghost-memory vignettes rendered in desaturated color: (LEFT) A younger Roy in a fast-food uniform being pointed toward the door by an angry manager; (CENTER) Roy in an office, a potted plant knocked over, papers everywhere, a supervisor pointing at a clock; (RIGHT) Roy at a construction site, hard hat askew, a foreman throwing his hands up. All three boss figures have glowing red accusatory eyes. The word 'FIRED' floats in jagged letters across each vignette.

Narrator:“Roy’s fatal flaw- the boy’s love for the Jazz Cabbage has cost him every job he’s ever had”

Panel 1:Wide shot: Roy is back in the alley but clearly not okay. He's pressed flat against the brick wall, palms out, green sweat beading on his forehead, eyes enormous and spiraling. Evil Forklift watches from a few feet away, green eyes half-lidded with mild amusement. Mermaid and Merman hover in the background, bubbles drifting upward.

“Roy : Im having evil flashbacks to all the times I got fired for being disrespectfully high at work! Evil Forklift : Sheeeeesh. This kids got more issues than a dirty forklift magazine! Mermaid : What a guppy! Merman : “Land-shrimp!””

Narrator:“Not cool man!”

Panel 2:Medium shot inside the WereHouse. Jennifurr and Axel stand over Roy, who is seated on a crate, sweating and vibrating. Axel's arms are crossed, expression shifting from smug to genuinely concerned. Jennifurr crouches beside Roy, a hand on his shoulder, watching his face.

“Jennifurr: Roy is way too high! His pathetic constitution and feeble human mind can’t handle that smoke! Axel: Well, actually, the medical term is dissociation and spectral hallucinations”

Panel 3:Close-up on Axel's face. Their expression has dropped the smugness — eyes soft, jaw set with quiet determination. They raise one hand, fingers spread, toward Roy.

“Axel: Roy. Look at me. Just my eyes.”

Panel 4:Medium shot: Axel's outstretched hand glows with a soft amber werewolf light. Roy stares into it, eyes wide and locked on. The green swirling in his pupils slowly drains away, replaced by calm black. Jennifurr watches from the side, arms folded, expression quietly relieved.

Narrator:“Axel uses their powers of hypnosis to calm Roy’s addled mind!”

Panel 5:Medium close shot: Roy blinks, fully lucid. Axel leans in close, voice low, speaking directly to Roy with unusual gentleness — no smirk, no condescension. Axel places one hand on Roy's chest, over his heart.

“Axel: I don’t think you’re smart or cool enough to handle supernatural weed. So the hypnosis is permanent. You won’t have evil flashbacks anymore Roy : ...Did you just do something nice?”

Panel 1:Wide shot of a city hall press conference room. Cadillac stands at a podium under bright stage lighting, toothpick at the corner of his mouth, wearing a sharp blazer over his usual laid-back clothes. He holds a large gaudy trophy — a golden figure of a cool dude — with one hand. Behind him, a banner reads 'COOLEST MAN IN AMERICA AWARD.' A crowd of reporters and photographers fills the room.

Narrator:“Meanwhile, across town...”

Panel 2:Medium shot of Cadillac at the podium, utterly relaxed, one elbow resting on the podium edge. He glances at the trophy, then back at the crowd, toothpick shifting to the other side of his mouth.

“Cadillac : Yeah. Sounds about right.”

Panel 3:Medium shot: A tall figure in an expensive suit approaches Cadillac from the side of the stage. The Mayor — a slick, silver-haired man with an unnaturally wide smile and eyes that reflect light just a shade too brightly — extends a hand for a handshake. His smile does not reach his eyes.

“Cadillac : Who's this guy?”

Panel 4:Close-up on the Mayor's hand gripping Cadillac's in a firm handshake. The Mayor's fingers are just slightly too long, and a black ring on his finger glints with a strange symbol.

“Mayor: Congratulations, Mr. Roadie. I’m the evil mayor of supernatural NYC. I have a feeling I’m here for foreshadowing”

Panel 5:Medium close-up of Cadillac's face. He looks at the Mayor with half-lidded cool eyes, toothpick still in his mouth. He's not scared, just deeply unimpressed.

“Cadillac : That explains the mysterious b plot and hasty set up. Give me a call if the city needs my help, Mr. Evil Mayor Mayor: Of course Cadillac. We all know this city could use a man like you handing out vigilante justice with zero due process”

Narrator:“A vital plot point that will hopefully pay off later…”

Panel 1:Wide shot of the back alley again. Roy stands next to Evil Forklift. Roy looks calm and clear-eyed. He holds a fresh glowing green joint. Evil Forklift's green eyes are wide with happy surprise. The Gadsden flag sticker is visible on Forklift's side. Green smoke drifts lazily from Forklift's exhaust.

“Roy : Okay. Let's try this again. Evil Forklift : KID. I'm proud of you.”

Panel 2:Close-up on Roy's face after taking a hit. His eyes are glowing a calm, steady green — no panic, no spiraling. He exhales a smooth plume of green smoke. A small, genuine smile on his face.

Narrator:“Genuine bliss! All the high with none of the cripple terror! Excelsior! ”

Panel 3:Wide shot: The exterior of the Howling Pint bar at night. A neon sign shaped like a howling wolf head glows purple and red above the door. Roy and Evil Forklift approach the entrance. Forklift's exhaust trail leaves a faint green cloud behind them. Roy has his hands in his pockets, relaxed.

Narrator:“Later that evening.”

Panel 4:Medium shot inside the Howling Pint. The bar is warm and dim, lit by hanging pendant lights. Mil the Bartender is behind the bar, fully recovered, purple glow bright again, leaning on the counter. Her expression is playful and sharp. Roy sits on a stool at the bar. Evil Forklift is parked just inside the entrance, his bulk barely fitting, green eyes scanning the room.

“Mil the Bartender : Look what the cat dragged in. Roy : The forklift dragged me, actually.”

Panel 1:Wide shot of the Howling Pint interior. Roy is seated at the bar, green-eyed and chill, nursing a glowing drink. Evil Forklift is parked near the bar stools. Then — across the bar — Evil Forklift's giant green eyes lock onto Mil the Bartender who is behind the bar. Mil pauses mid-pour, purple glow intensifying. Their gazes meet across the room. Everything else seems to blur softly around the edges of this moment.

Narrator:“Back at the bar after a long shift- our heroes are finally home ”

Panel 2:Insert panel: Close-up on Evil Forklift's giant green eyes, wide and soft and hearts in his eyes. The usual menace is completely gone. His eyes are practically sparkling.

Panel 3:Insert panel: Close-up on Mil the Bartender's face. Her usual sharp expression has softened. The corner of her mouth turns up in a small, genuine smile. Her purple glow pulses warmly. Small purple hearts drift upward

Panel 4:Long shot of the bar. Mil is behind the bar, while Roy and Evil forklift are seated at the bar. Mil is flirting with Evil forklift and Roy is uncomfortable. Mil and forklift are not shy

“Roy : I’m not sure if this is even legal Evil Forklift : What time do you get off? Mil the Bartender : Depends on the forklift……”

Panel 5:Wide shot of the bar scene. Mil slides a glowing purple drink down the bar with telekinesis — it floats smoothly through the air and lands perfectly in front of Evil Forklift's chassis. Evil Forklift's exhaust pipe emits one small, soft puff of green smoke. The Gadsden flag sticker is visible on his side. Roy is slinking off into the background

“Evil Forklift : ...Too late. Mil the Bartender : On the house. Don't make it weird.”

Panel 1:Wide shot of the Howling Pint interior. The whole WereHouse crew has assembled at the bar: Jennifurr, Axel, Gary floating above a bar stool, Cadillac leaning back on his stool holding his award trophy, Roy at the center glowing a calm green, Evil Forklift at the end. Mil stands behind the bar. Everyone has a drink. The scene is warm and chaotic.

“Cadillac : Did I mention I won an award today? Jennifurr: Three times, Cadillac.”

Panel 2:Medium shot of Axel and Roy side by side at the bar. Axel has a drink, looking ahead, trying very hard to appear indifferent. Roy glances at them with a small grateful smile. Axel does not look back — but a barely visible upward twitch at the corner of Axel's mouth gives them away.

“Roy : Hey, Axel. Thanks. For earlier. Axel: Well, actually, I was protecting the team's productivity.”

Panel 3:Medium shot of Gary the Ghost floating above the bar top, clipboard out, scribbling notes with a ghostly pen. He looks thrilled.

“Gary : I'm logging this as mandatory team bonding!”

Panel 4:Final wide shot of the entire group, pulled back to show the full bar. Roy is at the center, calm and green-eyed, surrounded by the werewolves, the ghost, the glowing bartender, and the sentient forklift. It is absurd and warm and completely his life now. Roy raises his glowing drink toward the reader.

“Roy : Legalize it!”

Narrator:“Yet again, drugs and alcohol save the day. Very few things in life are more important than consuming copious amounts of intoxicants with strangers and coworkers ”